August 31st, 2010 by Sarah
When I read that former James Bond, Roger Moore, derided the notion of the eponymous Intelligence hero being played with a regional accent I couldn’t help agreeing with him.
James Bond just has to have an accent as impeccable as his Savile Row suit, his Omega Watch, that Aston Martin; if he sat round the Craps table sipping his Vodka Martini introducing himself as “Bond, James Bond” with a Brummie burr I would definitely be more shaken than stirred.
It’s not that I’ve got a problem with regional accents: as I mentioned in an earlier blog you’ll know that you only have to give me a man with a Liverpudlian accent and he’s mine for life – but Bond has to have that almost unattainable X-factor to enforce his credibility.
Roger Moore’s rant wasn’t so much a rally against the regions as a plea for good diction, annunciation and good old fashioned manners.
It got me thinking about how Bond sounds when he converses with agents in another language: when he speaks Russian, for example, does he sound like a genuine Moscovite or an Old Etonian trying too hard? Even when Bond has it large with the lower echelons of society, he never seems to ‘downgrade’ his character.
Here are 10 things we could NEVER imagine James Bond doing:
- Supping a can of (warm) Tennents Extra
- Starting a homing device through his Timex Jelly watch
- Emerging from a tanning booth
- Picking his toe nails
- Queuing up for an EasyJet flight
- Emerging from the sea wearing budget Speedos
- Mimicking David Brent’s dance from The Office
- Having his credit card declined
- Signing on
- Snogging an ugly bird!
Mindful of Manners
We’ve talked about modern etiquette before (remember the Debrett’s Motoring Guide? ) but not so much at the dinner table. I have one pal who almost regurgitated her meal when her date chewed his supper like a cud-munching bovine. Consequently one of her prerequisites for accepting a second date is that the man in question has the decency to keep his mouth closed when eating and that he waits until he’s swallowed to finish his sentence.
A recent Reuters Report has made me question how much I really know about being a Lady who lunches and illustrates why it is I haven’t been invited into the Royal Box during this year’s London Season.
Also hailing from Debrett’s and written by Jo Bryant, their London-based etiquette advisor, its tips include:
“Squash peas onto the back of your fork rather than scooping them up from an upturned fork.” So that’s how you do it! I spend half my life squashing them with bare feet after they’ve rolled off my plate onto the kitchen floor.
And “To eat a whole fish on the bone, work down one side of the spine at a time, from head to tail, then lift the entire bone up and gently ease the flesh out from beneath. Small bones should be removed from the mouth with fingers and placed on the side of the plate.” Frankly that’s way too much effort but it’s nice to know when someone else is doing it wrong!
So there you have it – (almost) everything you need to equip you to bond with Bond. Now there are just the elocution lessons to practice… innit?!
Not that special but still pretty cool, I really enjoyed going to 
